


Road tripping

by growligan



Series: Shinigami shenanigans [3]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: F/M, Gay, M/M, Road Trips, Trans Female Character, scottish!Eric, slutty shinigamis, william's impotent rage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2018-12-08 00:51:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 7,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11635500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/growligan/pseuds/growligan
Summary: A stand-alone continuation of Shinigami Shenanigans.This time, our favorite reapers get a month's vacation and decide to road trip around Europe. Join them on their wacky adventures!





	1. Let's go on vacation

A creaky old bus came driving down the streets. Behind the wheels sat a familiar face it was Eric he was wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a pair of blue shorts. Alan waved as he saw the bus approach and Eric hit the brakes pulling to a stop right in front of the gathered co-workers.

It was summer and they had all gotten a month of well deserved vacation at last and last night during the drunken celebration they had decided to go on a roadtrip. Said and done. Eric was hungover btu he could still drive it was his Scottish blod making itself known.

He slammed the door open and slung out his arms.

“ARE YOU READY FOR VACAAAAATION” he roared but no one laughed they were all hungover and miserable.

William T. Spears stepped onto the bus first and deposited his bag in the very back of the bus that had been turned into a rudimentary living space. He could not believe that he had let his co-workers talk him into this. It was the first and last time he drank a watermelon mojito.

Next on was Grell Sutciff she was wearing a tight red dress and she eagerly claimed the bed right next to William’s.

Next Ronald and Alan stepped on leaving their bags in the back of the bus and then taking their seat at the front Ronald tended to get motion illness so he needed to see the horizon or he would puke. No one wanted that and I guess that’s understandable.

Last but not least a small fellow stepped on the bus. It was Othello and Grell had invited him along this very morning. He was wearing a straw hat and a white shirt and a pair of jeans shorts. He stepped on the bus.

Now everyone was on and Eric hit the gas and the bus rolled down the street. He sipped his orange juice which he had brought with him.

“Where are we going first then?” asked the Scottish shinigami as he steered the bus.

“I don’t care Slingborn as long as you shtu up!!!!” moaned Wiliam from the back of the bus he was resting his head against the wall and trying to solve a crossword to calm his nerves for he felt that he was near a nervous breakdown.

“Let’s hit the mainland” suggested Ronald wisely and Eric hit the honker in reply.

“FOR GOD’S SAKE SLINGBRA” shouted William in a rage. “CALMD THE HELL DOWN OR ELSE!!”

Grell did not hesitate to take her chance and she eagerly slid up next to the angry boss and laid a manicured hand on his thin thigh.

“Will~” said Grell.

“No” said William.

Right then the bus stopped because someone was stnaidng in the road!!!

“UNDERTAKER WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!” yelled Ronald. Alan felt nervous.

“Hello” said Undertaker as he stepped on the bus. “You forgot me.”

The doors closed and Eric kept driving. He wasn’t sure who had invited the old man but he didn’t feel that it was worth arguing over. He didn’t want to hurt his feelings and besides he had heard rumors that Undertaker wasn’t exactly the most mentally stable individual so it would probably do them all good to just let him tag along.

Undertaker pulled his hair back in a pony tail and put on a pair on black sunglasses. He was ready for vacation.


	2. When in France....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending mgiht not be good if you're sensitive :(

The bus drove through the streets of England and the hungover shinigami were all sleeping, except Eric who was driving the bus. Othello and Undertaker were playing poker on some empty seats and Eric kept eyeing them through the rear view mirror wondering why the two handsome fellas wouldn’t just play strip poker instead. It was clear you couldn’t get everything here in life.

At noon time they stopped for dinner and gang all went inside a pub to order food. Eric ordered haggis because he was Scottish and it was important to him to be close to his roots especially now that he was living and owrking in another country England might be close to Scotland but it just wasn’t the same.   
Alan ordered a yorkshire pudding Ronald ordered bash and mangers Othello ordered jellied eels because he was just gross like that (he got to sit at his own table and Eric did too) Grell ordered fish and chips because William did Undertaker ordered a stargazy pie.

“What are you eatign?” asked Ronald as he looked with excitement on the mortician’s place. It was a pie and something most peculiar seemed to be happening as dead fish heads poked out from through the crust.

“It’s a stargazy pie” explained Undertaker to the curious young fellow. He cut off a fish head and ate it.

Then he downed half a pint of ale and then he ate another fish and then he drank some more and ate some pie and then another fish head and then he was full.

Half an hour later the bus was rolling again and now Undertaker was driving the bus. The other shinigami fell asleep in the back again except Othello who sat by a window gazing at the world outside he thought he could feel the jellied eels bounce around in his stomach.

“What are you thinking about young man?” inquired Undertaker most seriously his hands glued to the steering wheel like his practically blind eyes were glued to the road.

“Stuff” replied Othello and sighed wistfully.

They had soon left England and drove on that underwater road that leads to France. Undertaker was excited. It had been a long time since he was in France but he had always had a soft spot for baguettes. His own baguette seemed to stir from deep inside his robes when he remembered how he had delighted himself with Vincent under the Eiffel Tower.

~

When Grell aweoke it was in another county. It was in France. Grell woke up and opened her eyes and noticed that she was laying in the back of the bus. A scent of baguette and macarons seemed to hit her sensitive nose and she noticed that the bus had stopped. It was stnaidng still. She got up from her bed and noticed that the bus was parked and Othello and Undertaker were nowhere to be seen.

The tantalizing scent of bread and pastries led her outside and she followed it into a cafe.

“Hello” said Grell.

“Bonjour” said the cashier.

There were a lot of customers and while they weren’t looking Grell grabbed a bagutete. She wanted one she was hungry after sleeping off her energy. Sshe knew there was no way she would be able to leave the store without anyone seeing her but then it was as if an idea had planted itself in her head. Making usre no one was looking Grell snuck towards the bathrooms. She was glad she had thought of bringing condoms!!!

Grell took out a condom from her bag and she smiled at herself in the mirror before gently placing it over the baguette. This was going to hrut but it would have to be worth it.


	3. Undertaker's story

Grell let out a sigh of a non sexual nature as she slowly and deliberately pulled the bread pole out of her aching orifice. It was intact but she wsn’t sure if her insides were. The condom was intact too she pulled it off and threw it in the trash. Reaching for a knife she cut up the bread inhaling the sweet scent as she buttered it up and put some French cheese on it.

In another part of town Eric and Alan were sitting in a little cafe. Alan was wearing one of those French hat to fit in with the local population. They were drinking wine and eating eclairs.

Alan let out a wistful sigh as he gazed upon Eric’s strong face.

“Eric”, he whispered as he extended his hand and placed it upon Eric’s rough and calloused one.

“Alan?” asked Eric in a whisper.

“I am glad that we are getting this chance to be alone together” confessed Alan somberly as he gazed into his partner’s green two toned eyes behind the glasses that reflected the sun and hurt Alan’s own eyes just a little because the reflection was so bright.

“I am too” smiled Eric and took a bite of an eclair the filling shot everywhere he got some on his hair but Alan felt that it would be rude ot point it out. Eric was sensitive even if he often hid it behind a humorous exterior. He didn’t need that kind of insult. Alan wasn’t sure if he could take it.

At nightfall the shinigami hd all returned to the bus and Grell shared her bread with them all and they ate in silence thinking about their exciting day in France.

“Where should we go next?” inquired Ronald after a while. He iddn’t like silence much it bored him.

“If I might be so bold” said a voice from the back. It was William he was sitting in the dark sipping a juice box solemnly but now he had spoken and all the heads turned to gaze upon him because he was their boss and also they just didn’t wanna be rude (A/N it’s rude to ignore someone).

“I think maybe we ought to go to Spain” said William. “It is after all close to here and also hot so we could go swim.”

Grell’s insides positively exploded at the thought of William in a swimming thong.

Undertaker nodded and gave William a gentle smile.

“I was once in Spain but it was many years ago” he told. They all gathered around to listen to Undertaker’s tale…

“It was many moons and ages ago and I was just a young shinigami back then. I had been sent to Spain on a most peculiar mission” said Undertaker. “Something important had been stolen and I was going to retrieve it. One night I was drinking a margarita--” Alan gasped. “-- and eating some fried squid rings when--”

“Is this going anywhere?” asked William in a tired voice.

“I am getting there!” scolded Undertaker but he didn’t get much further because William had gotten up and started the bus.

“We’re leaving you sorry bitches” he announced and rolled out on the street. The bus’s front lights lit up the evening as they rolled through France and Undertaker never got to tell his story. It might have been for the best thought Alan because what little he had heard had been enough to scare him.

He tucked himself in in the back of the bus and prepared for a night filled with nightmares. The last thing he heard before sleep overtook him was a curious voice asking “Hey, is that a condom?” and Grill giggling hysterically.


	4. A new friend

William did not stop driving until the sun rose beyond the horizon and they found themselves on Spanish grounds. The other shinigami were snoring peacefully in the back of the bus except Grell who had insisted on keeping him company all night. William was tired. Mentally and physically.

“I am going to bed” said William as he parked the bus. “Cutsliff you stay guard so no one breaks in and steals our stuff.”

Then he went to bed.

~

Alan left the bus first of them all. It was a few hours later and the sun was travelling along the cloudless sky and Alan was thirsty. He went into a Spanish store that sold Spanish food and looked for something recongizeable that he would feel safe drinking thankfully he found a drink called Fanta and he suspected it might be the same as British Fanta so he bought it.

It was a peaceful day and Alne walked along the street sipping his naranja flavored Fanta it tasted suspiciously similar to orange Fanta. (A/N please note that I have not been paid to promote Fanta!)

Suddenly he came to a halt. In the distance he could hear sounds it sounded like a large crowd was moving towards him at a great speed. He looked up and saw a large group of people running very fast towards him. They were shouting and yelling and Alan didn’t know what to do. They approached fast and he decided to step to the side and let them pass when he noticed that a creature was running behind them. It looked like an angry cow with horns.

The crowd shouted in Spanish as they ran past and the bull ran after them but then it saw Alan and it stopped. Alan felt his heart speed up as the fiendish creature looked him straight into the eyes and moo’d lowly. This was it. This was how he was going to die.  
Memories of Alan’s first death suddenly filled his brain. It had been tragic. He’d backed out of a bet with a friend that he could swallow a sword and everyone had laughed and called him a coward. He had been angry that night and desperate to prove them all wrong so in the silence of his lonely bedroom he had taken a sword and shoved it down his throat. It had not gone well and sadly Alan had perished and become a shinigami. He was a bit ashamed so whenever someone asked about it he made up some bullshit excuse. He had the right to a private life anyway!!!

The bull approached Alan slowly its muscular body swaying slightly with each step. Alan’s heart was beating 527 miles an hour and he was sweating profusely. He wiped his wet palms against his hawaii shirt and inhaled sharply.

Suddenly the bull kneeled down as if inviting Alan to take a seat upon it. Alan mounted the great male cow and they took off. He had never ridden a bull before but he soon found that it wasn’t much different from riding a horse and that he could use the horns to steer the bull.

Alan and the bull had a very nice day together. They went swimming and ate a sundae and Alan threw a frisbee that the bull fetched. It was a happy joyful day and Alan was very fond of his new friend. As evening approached and the stars began to litter the sky Alan felt that he was getting hungry so he took the bull with him to McDonald’s.

They went in the drive through because Alan was riding the bull. Alan ordered two oreo mcflurries and a cheeseburger for him and also one for his bull friend.

They ate in silence and Alan felt very satisfied. As night drew closer, Alan decided to take his new friend with him back to the bus to introduce him to his other friends.

Little did Alan know that he had committed a most terrible mistake and the once so peaceful day was about to end in nothing short of a massacre...


	5. Mad cow disease

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for some violence!!!

Night fell and the six shinigami were sleeping peacefully on their roadtripping bus. In the front of the bus laid the bull. None of the reapers noticed it, as they were in fact sleeping, but the bull was breathing fast and frothing at the mouth. It didn’t know what was wrong but it understood that something was.

Ronald rolled over to his side and let out a peaceful snore as the bull convulsed. Its eyes rolled up in its skull and the froth around the ruminant’s mouth grew.

Alan had only meant well when he had fed his new friend a cheeseburger. He’d had no idea that giving cows cow meat made them develop mad cow disease. It was a mistake he would have to pay deeply for.

The bull got up on its shaky legs, trembling violently. If only it could communicate its needs…

~

A pale sun rose over the horizon as Undertaker opened his eyes to a blurry world. He sat up yawned and stretched a little. Then he noticed that something was wrong. The front door was open, but it seemed to have been opened up by brute force and not naturally.

“Hmmmm” said Undertaker curiously as he put his thigh high boots on. “I wonder what could have happened.” He put on his other clothes and went up from the bed and looked at the door but he didn’t see anything out of the ordinary except that it was broken open so he made some strawberry rhubarb tea and drank it while the other shinigami woke up.

“Hello good morning” said Eric as he opened his eyes.

“I am awake” said Alan and sat up and that’s when he noticed the bull was missing!!!

“Undertakr where is my bull!?!” demanded Alan as he knew Undertaker was the first one among them to have risen this morning.

“I have not seen your bull but something broke up the door it might have been your bull” mused Undertaker. He had been tired and not really noticed that the new pet hadn’t been there this morning. Not that he had agreed with keeping it in a bus in the first place.

Alan got up and dressed and went outside to look but he didn’t see th ebull.

“BULL WHERE ARE YOU????” yelled Alan. But no one replied.

Alan walked along the streets looking for a sign of the bull then he buyed some Spanish bread that he ate while he walked because he realized he’d rfottegoren to eat breakfast and he was hungry. It was dry so he stopped to buy some iced tea that he drank. It was a hot morning. They were in Spain and it’s a mediterranian country so the summers get very hot there.

Alan threw the empty can in a trash can and kept walking.

“BULL???” he yelled every now and then but every time he was met with silence and after almost an hour he was forced to return to the bus. So he did.

“I can’t find the bull” said Alan.

“Maybe we should get going” suggested Ronald carefully hoping to not upset Alan.

“Yes but where should we go now?” asked Eric.

The discussion didn’t get further until something heavy hit the side of the bus.

“HOLY FUCK WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?” shouted William.

But Alan knew the answer before he had looked. He could feel it in his guts but also in his heart and soul.

The bull was outside the bus and it seemed like it wanted to either get in or to ruin the bus.

“It seems like your bull is angry or something” said Ronald.

~

Horns banged against metal as the bull threw itself into the bus at full force again. Its mind was empty of all but one thing: It wanted to eat human flesh.

It was hungry. And it was angry. It didn’t know why it was angry but that didn’t make it any less angry.  
It threw itself against the side of the bus again, leaving a dent, horns scraping against metal with a sickening noise. Saliva and blood dripped from the cloved creature’s lips as it prepared to attack again.

~

“We have to do something!!!” whined Alan. He felt that this was his fault somehow he must have said or done something to upset the bull, but he could not figure out what despite going through all of yesterday in his stresed mind.

“It’s gonna tear up the bus!!!” yelled Undertaker.

“We have no choice” said William and reached for his gardening tool. “We have to fight.”

He kicked the dented door open and stepped out of the bus, scythe at the ready. The bull stopped its furious onslaught and stared at him, eyes spinning wildly in its broken face. It roared.

“Come at me you ugly son of a bitch” said William and took a fighting stance. “I’m gonna beat your ass.”

The bull took charge. Grell screamed. Before anyone knew what happened, the bull had William’s left leg in a deathly grip.

“WILLIAM~” yelled Grell desperately.


	6. Undertaker's wisdom

William screamed. The loud sound tore through the calm morning and turned serenity into madness. Birds took flight, people stopped to listening to the echoing shouts of the pained shinigami, and the bull roared triumphantly.

“YOU BASTARD!!!” yelled Grell. Seeing the man of her dreams getting chewed on like a piece of bacon threw her into a rage she had seldom felt. “YOU UTTER PIECE OF SHIT! YOU VILE CLOVEN-FOOTED MONSTER! YOU ABSURD TROLL!” She kept screaming insults at the munching bull but they seemed to bounce off him as he was too occupied devouring poor William’s leg.

A roar echoed through the air but this time it did not come from the bull. Grell had grabbed her trusty chainsaw and was charging at the cowlike creature at full speed. It did not take long until its piercing fangs had left William’s leg and its head was lying a few feet away from its bleeding body.

“WILLIAM!!!!!!!!!” panted Grell and knelt down but William did not answer. His face was ashen and his eyes was spinning gently in his head.

“Calm yourself Ms. Sutcliff I am a doctor” said Undertaker as he stepped forward holding a bag.

“Are you really?” gasped Grell in what sounded a lot like disbelief.

“Well no but I am a mortician and that’s almost the same thing so calm down” comforted Undertaker.

He knelt down next to William and took out a stethoscope and listened to his heart.

“Hm you have normal heart rate” said Undertaker and took some notes in a book. Then he took up a shot and it was loaded with some kind of liquid.

“Fear not for it is merely a vaccine against mad cow disease” Undertaker reassured the paling boss and his nervous subordinate.

“Ooouuuhhh” said William he was afraid of needles.

“Relax and it will be over in a minute or so” said Undertaker and plunged the needle into William’s open wound and emptied the vaccine there. “There that should do it lad. Now you rest and regain your strength.

Grell did not know how to thank the gray haired savior but no words were necessary. Undertaker hoisted William up over his shoulder and carried him back to the bus he laid him down gently in the back of the bus.

~

When William awoke the bus was moving. He wasn’t sure where they were but it did not matter to him he was just glad they were leaving that awful place behind. Next to him Alan was sitting looking somber.

“I am sorry Mr. Spears” said Alan and big fat tears shone in his green eyes as he looked at William. “I didn’t realize the bull was sick.”

“It’s alright my leg is already healing” said William and pointed at his leg which was indeed already healing. That was a good thing about being a shinigami you could take a lot more damage than a human could and also you healed faster.

“But still--” whined Alan but William interrupted him.

“No buts” he said sternly and sat up in bed.

Right then the bus stopped.

“We’re right at the border to Germany so I think we’ll stop here for the night and sleep and then tomorrow we will go into Germany” said Undertaker who had been driving the bus. “I can’t see anymore it’s too dark.”

Eric left the bus to go scavenge for food and he returned forty minutes later with a pack of hot dogs and two bottles of soda that he had bought at a gas station. The friends ate in silence still slightly traumatized by what had taken place this very morning. It seemed so far away now yet also so close. They had nearly lost one of them and it had brought them all back to reality a bit and made them realize that travelling the continent wouldn’t just be a party.

“Well goodnight then” said Eric and went to bed.

Outside the bus two mysterious strangers were watching them from up in a tree on the German side of the border!!!


	7. New enemies

Ludger and Sascha were sitting in a tree. It was a big oak. Ludger was sipping on a can of pepsi max while skimming through an old issue of a Captain America comic while Sascha was spying at our friends in the bus with a pair of binoculars.

“I wonder what they are doing so close to our territory” Sascha mused out loud. “Are they trying to provoke us? Are we being challenged to a fight?”

“I don’t know” said Ludger but he wasn’t really listening.

“Maybe this is a trojan horse thing” suggested Sascha. “They’re waiting for us to move them inside Germany and then they will jump out and attack us and stuff.”

“Probably” said Ludger who still wasn’t listening. He reached down into his pocket to grab a couple of peanuts. He put them in his mouth. He chewed and then he swallowed. He liked peanuts. He had been allergic when he was human and as such never been able to eat peanuts. In fact the reason he now was a shinigami is that he had one day gotten so fed up with seeing everyone else eat them that he had decided to eat them too, no matter the consequences.

Sadly it had not gone over well and he had died and now he was a shinigami so he ate peanuts a lot now to make up for lost time.

Sascha jumped down from the tree and approached the bus cautiously. He tiptoed towards it, slowly and deadly and also quietly, to not wake the ones who were snoring inside. Then he grabbed the bus and with the strength of ten men in his small fragile body he lifted it and carried it across the border. Then he went back to the tree to collect Ludger and they went back home to watch the newest episode of Top Model.

~

Undertaker awoke in the morning. He got up and toasted a bagel which he ate in silence while the sun rose above the hilltops. Around the bus the day was starting and the world was awakening. Undertaker was chewing thoughtfully on his bagel when he noticed that the scenery outside the bus windows had changed.

“Most mysterious” he muttered to himself. “It seems that we have rolled into Germany during the night...” Deciding to not alert the others to the possible danger he sat down by the steering wheel and started the bus and rolled into town.

It was a tiny little town and the houses were old but in a cute way not a worn and shabby way and some old ladies were walking around with their chickens under their muscular arms selling eggs. He saw a milk delivery man leave milk bottles in the mail boxes and a pack of sheep devour the hay that a young farmer with a ginger mustache was feeding them. Somewhere in the distance a clock struck seven.

Undertaker parked the bus and went outside to participate in the wild adventures of the morning. He went to a little tea shop and bought himself a cup of strawberry tea to carry with him as he walked the ancient cobblestone streets and remembered his own youth during which cobblestone streets had barely even been invented. He sipped the tea as he watched a young German man on a moped deliver a newspaper.

Then he walked right into a young bespectacled fellow wearing glasses over a pair of dark green and yellow-y green eyes.

“Hello” said Sascha. He held up his tiny little fists ready to strike.

“Hallo junge reaper” said Undertaker and tried to communicate in the fellow’s native language. Then something landed over his head and everything went dark.


	8. New friends

When Undertaker awoke he did not know where he was. It was dark and he couldn’t see and that worried him. True, his sight hadn’t been very good in a long time but he could usually see at least a little. Now he could see nothing and to make matters worse his hands where tied behind his back and his feet were tied together! He quickly added things together in his groggy mind and came to a bone chilling conclusion: HE HAD BEEN KIDNAPPED!!!!!!!

He could hear movements in the room and realized that his captors must be near. But should he try to communicate with them? Would he be better off not letting them know he was awake!? He was not given much time to dwell on these matters however as suddenly the blindfold was torn off his face and the young person he had runned into earlier was staring at him with a disapproving look.

“Really Sascha was that necessary?” sighed someone in the background. Undertaker could smell the scent of pepsi in the air and he heard the gulping sounds of someone drinking.

“Look at him!” said the young reaper and gestured at our mortician hero. “He looks suspicious!”

“He looks old and worn” said the drinking man. Undertaker huffed. He might be old but he was certainly not worn!

“Be careful when you speak, young man” whispered Undertaker but his quiet voice carried well across the empty room. “For you have no idea to whom it is you speak!!!!”

The man shrugged.

“Told you he’s off his hookers Ludger!” said the young reaper. He was small, like a child menu at a fast food restaurant. Undertaker found himself thinking longingly about a delicious Happy Meal at McDonald’s (A/N: guys I know there’s a lot of product placements in here but I promise it just happens, there’s no real reason for it okay?) and wished the young reaper had been as agreeable as a cheeseburger with extra cheese. But he was not.

“And who are you and why should I be afraid?” hissed Ludger suddenly.

Undertaker wished his limbs had been freed so he could have stood up then he remembered that he was a shinigami and that meant he was in fact stronger than a human so he broke free from the bonds that had captured him and stood up, showing them all just how tall he was (he was two inches taller than Sascha but in his time that had been a lot) and spread his arms as he roared his words out mightily.

“YOU FOOL! I AM UNDERTAKER!”

Ludger shrugged again.

“I’ve never heard of you and please calm down, you’re making Sascha stressed. He does not handle stress well.”

Undertaker turned to look at the boy and noticed that the man had been right. Sascha was nervously chewing his nails.

“Why have you taken me?” inquired Undertaker.

“Sascha thought you were going to invade Germany” explained Ludger.

“No we’re just on a roadtrip” sighed Undertaker. Sascha didn’t seem like a particularly bright fellow that sure was for sure.

“I told you Sascha you illiterate moron!” scolded Ludger seriously yet also sternly. He slapped Sascha on the wrist. “Now go return him to where you took him from!”

Sascha hoisted Undertaker up on his thin and fragile shoulders and carried him out of the house and out onto the streets and dumped Undertaker off in the city square where he had first kidnapped him.

“Okay bye” said Sascha and turned to leave.

“Wait” said Undertaker. “You seem like a confused young individual who has not experienced the world. Would you like to come with us?”

“Okay” said Sascha. Then Ludger came running. He was holding a lunch box.

“You forgot your food Sascha!!!” he yelled. Undertaker got the impression that the older shinigami was the younger one’s caretaker and caught himself dwelling over just how incompetent this youngling could be…

Meanwhile Sascha had opened his lunch box. Ludger had cut out little sandwiches in the shapes of stars and hearts and he’d made some watermelon and cucumber stars and hearts too and there were some crackers and a few grapes and a juice box. Sascha sat down on the curb and ate his food. His juice was pear flavored and he drank it through a straw. Then he burped.

“Ludger we are going on a vacation” explained Sascha after he had finished eating.

“Okay I am going to go back” said Ludger. He went to pack. He packed down some necessary stuff and also a jacket for Sascha in case it would get cold and also some necessary survival things like ropes and canned food and band-aids and a lighter and some gasoline. Then he went back to the other shinigamis.

“Okay we are ready” smiled Ludger.

They all went with Undertaker to meet the rest of the gang.


	9. Chapter 9

Sascha blushed gently as he stood in front of the other shinigami. William was sipping on a cup of strawberry peppermint tea, looking at best mildly interest. Ronald and Eric were looking up from the table on which they had been trading Pokemon cards. Ronal dwaved cheerfully and Eric gave a friendly smile. Alan had been solving crosswords but was now giving the newcomers a polite if a bit shy nod. Othello was eating a sandwich with eggs and ketchup on but he took a second to greet them. Some half chewed egg pieces fell out of his mouth and landed on his blue and orange polka dotted shirt. Grell was filing her nails and she waved violently with the nail file.

“Hello” said Sascha nervously. “I am Sascha and Undertaker invited me and my friend Ludger along.”

“Hello Sascha” said William. “Welcome. I am William T. Spears and I am the boss of most of these morons. I’m sure you will fit in just fine.”

“Do you want some bread?” asked Grell. She still had some baguette left from the little adventure she’d had in France although by now it had gone stiff and stale. The bread wasn’t the only thing in the bus that was stiff but Grell was blissfully unaware of the painful boner that was straining against Othello’s slightly too tight pants as he looked at her. Good thing his crotch was hidden by a table.

“No thank you I just ate” said Sascha.

“I packed the boy a lumch box” explained Ludger. “I mostly followed to help look after him to be quite honst. He is very young.”

“Ah yes I know the feeling” said William and his gaze seemed to linger on Othello for just a second too long for it to not be suspicious. Othello did not notice. He was busy eating and also being horny. Horngry, if you’d like.

“Well feel free to unpack your things and pick beds” suggested Eric who had just traded a Rapidash for a Mew.

“Thank you” said Ludger curtly and he pulled Sascha with him to the back of the bus where he started unpacking their things. Ronald came over.

“Hello” said Ronald. “So you are from Germany.”

“Yes” said Sascha and smiled shyly.

“I am not” said Ronald.

“I know” said Sascha.

“Okay” said Ronald.

“Yes” agreed Sascha.

“I just wanted to clarify” clarified Ronald.

“It’s okay I’m glad you did it’s not always easy to know” smiled Sascha. He unpacked a hat and a pair of socks then he went to join the rest of the shinigami further in front of the bus.

“Okay well where do we go next?” asked Undertaker as he was eager to take the young man on a marvelous adventure and teach him about life and also Europe.

“I want to go to Turkey” said Alan. Everyone turned around to stare at the usually so quiet and nervous shinigami for it was not common for Alan to speak up but now he had done so. “I want to eat kebab.”

“Mmmm” said Undertaker and smacked his lips in a gross fashion.

“Turkey it is then” decided William. He went to drive the bus. Othello was just finishing his egg sandwich when Sascha sat down across the table from him.

“Hello you look young too” said Sascha. “I guess you weren’t very old when it happened either.”

Othello blushed. He remembered the bomb incident (A/N: If you’re curious, read 50 Shades of Red as it’s all explained in there) and hoped he wouldn’t be asked about it.

“I guess yeah” he said and suppressed a nervous giggle.

“I see that you were eating” said Sascha.

“I was it was an egg sandwich” said Othello wisely.

“Okay do you like sausages they’re popular in Germany?”

“I do.”

Sascha smiled and took up a bratwurst from his pocket. He split it in two and shared it with his newfound friend. He already had taken a liking to Othello. From a corner of the bus Ludger was inspecting the two teenage shinigami suspiciously he did not trust Othello and wondered what the mysterious young man’s intentions were with his naive little charge. But the two friends were too busy chewing sausage to notice Ludger’s less than friendly looks and outside the window the scenery was changing as William was driving towards Turkey.

“I’ve never been in Turkey before” said Sascha.

“Ah I have but it was a long time ago.” Suddenly Undertaker spoke up. “I remember in the good old day when it was the Ottoman Empire. I met a lovely young man known as Mehmed the Conqueror and we had quite a good relationship back then if I may say so myself.” Undertaker sighed wistfully and his eyes were suddenly glossed over with memories of the past. A minute past before he managd to return to the present again. “Oh well he is long dead alas and oh.”

“Did you reap him?” inquired Sascha.

“Sascha!” scolded Ludger with a frown on his German face.

“What!”

“That was rude and thoughtless of you!”

Sascha pouted sadly.

“Okay I’m sorry.”

“Yes I did reap him” confessed Undertaker and he gave the young reaper a smile. “Curiosity is not a crime. Life was different back then. But me and Mehmed we were like two hands in a glove.”

And with that Undertaker got up and went to look out the window. He shook his fist quietly.


	10. Fighting

The bus pulled to a stop. They were in Turkey now. The country that the thanksgiving bird had been named after. Sascha’s stomach rumbled excitedbly as he thought about a big fat turkey being filled with all sorts of stuff. He might be a German, but that didn’t mean that his palate only appreciated American food.

“Okay here we are” said William and the shinigami all disembarked from the bus. It was hot, and Grell was glad she had brought along a bikini. She was now wearing it and she could feel people’s stares but she figured they appreciated what they saw so she struck a few poses.

“Come along now, it is time for food” said Alan and led the gang to a kebab place.

“Hello” said Alana “I would like to order eight kebabs please.”

“Okay” said the man who was making the kebabs. “That will be fifty turkish dollars.” Alan paid and then they got their kebabs and they sat down on a few chairs with some tables and ate their kebabs and then they bought some soda because they realized they ad forgotten that and then they drank some sodas. Undertaker drank a coca cola William drank a pepsi Grell drank a raspberry soda. Sascha drank a sprite and everyone else were drinking fanta orange. They drank and ate in silence and then they were full.

“Okay let’s go swim” suggested Grell who was wearing a red bikini.

“Okay” agreed Eric but Ludger looked uncomfortable. He did not feel alright with Sascha being allowed into the sea. What if a shark or manatee came? He worried about his young charge and laid a firm yet comforting hand upon his small sized shoulder.

“I don’t want Sascha to go swim” declared Ludger confidently. “He’s not ready.”

Everyone turned and stared and Sascha knew in his little heart that they were all judging him and he squirmed uncomfortably under their gazes. He thought they suddenly seemed scornful. He could feel them laughing at him on the inside.

“That’s true Ludger I know how to swim” said Sascha in a valiant attempt at standing up for himself but Ludger merely frowned and shook his head.

“There are many dangers in the water and I am not letting you risk your life for some mindless fun!”

“Honestly” said William and rolled his eyeballs. “I think the kid will be fine.”

“You don’t know him you British bastard!” hissed Ludger defensively.

“Well he’s hardly a child now is he?” retorted William.

“Well no but he’s hardly an adult!” replied Ludger as his voice rose dangerously. The rest of the gang were all watching in quiet fascination and Sascha’s small cheeks grew steadily more and more pink.

“You have to stop treating him like a toddler!” assaulted William.

“I am doing no such thing!” fought Ludgar.

“Guys” moaned Sascha nervously.

“WHAT?” said William and Ludgar and then they glared at each other.

“How dare you raise your voice against him you bratwurst muncher!!!!” exclaimed Ludger.

“You did it too you insolent coward!” yelled William.

“Don’t be mean to William!” whined Grell.

“Fuck you all I’m going to the beach” said Eric and left. Alan and Ronald got up to leave with him. Undertaker was poking a beetle with a stick in a curious manner and Sascha was blushing sadly and Grell was making obscene gestures at the oldest of the German reapers. Othello was sleeping.

“It will be your fault if he perishes!” said Ludger fiercely and aggressively and pointed across the table at William. Alike in both looks and temperament were they, and William raised his hand and unraised his fingers except his middle one he was giving Ludger the finger he grinned in a mocking way.

“Maybe you are the one who will perish” he said and there was a hint of cold in his voice like that of an ice cream that is just a little too hard to eat or maybe an icicile dangling from a roof threatening to strike whoever walks beneath it’s head.

“How dare you threaten me?” whispered Ludger and his eyes shone with mild aggression.

“I am higher up than you are” replied William in a professional tone of voice. “And you can trust that your superiors will hear about your unprofessional and quite unhinged behavior, YOU RECKLESS SIMPLISTIC MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I'll be honest I'm no longer feeling this story so I'm probably gonna end it next chapter.

Sascha felt uneasy as he was flaoting around in a bath ring. Ludger and William had gotten into a fight because of him. Undertaker had invited him along and he appreciated it, but he felt like he wasn’t doing a very good job of repaying the stranger’s kindness. All he had done so far was cause unnecessary drama and now he felt bad about it. He felt guilty. And if there was one thing Sascha didn’t like, it was feeling guilty.

Unhappy thoughts flooded the young shinigami’s mind and suddenly he knew what he must do. He was going to leave. He had to. They would all be so much happier without him. Tears blinding his already nearsighted eyes, he started kicking his legs to move himself further out into the ocean and away from land. Away from his nw friends.

~

“Hey fuckers have any of you seen Sascha?” asked Ronald. Ludger looked around. He looked worried.

“Where is he!?” he demanded.

“I don’t know but calm the hell down” said William seriously.

“I will calm down when someone tells me where Sascha is!” spouted Ludger indignantly. “Who was the last person to see him?”

Grell raised a hand.

“Yes, Sutcliff?” said William.

“Last time I saw him he was floating out towards the open sea.”

“And why didn’t you do anything!?” demanded Ludger.

“I thought maybe he wanted to go fish” explained Grell. She wondered if Ludger was stupid.

~

Sascha could no longer see land. He didn’t care. Not that he would admit to himself at least. His short legs were tired from swimming and he was hanging over the ring like a banana peel, considering taking a nap if not for the fact that he might fall off the ring and drown and a shark might eat him. But then he figured maybe that would be for the best he couldn’t hurt anyone if he was dead inside a shark’s stomach. Ludger would probably be happy he wouldn’t have to worry about him anymore he’d finally be free of the burden.

Anguish overflooded the eternally pubertal boy and he did not notice that the inflated ring was starting to go soft...


	12. Chapter 12

No one ever saw Sascha again, but for decades, rumors would be spread on the Turkish coast about a bespectacled boy who seemed to live with the manatees.


End file.
